These Saved My Soul

So, I have a couple of things that I want to vent about. First of all, I want everyone to take a close look at this silly wrapper and tell me that it’s not ridiculous. Yes, I know it didn’t come directly from the church website, but when I was in the process of looking up Relief Society and Visiting Teaching on Google, and I found these "Soul Savers" candy wrappers and got distracted. I was going to use the Relief Society one but then I found the Young Single Adult one and I thought it was hilarious. Anyway, I’m kind of disgusted, but don’t think I won’t use them to cause mayhem sometime in the future, because lucky for everyone they come in about eight million "flavors" ranging from “Celestial Cleaning”, to “Cub Scouts”, to “Daughters of Utah Pioneers” (for Grandma LeNila, I guess), to “Enrichment”, to “Relief Society”. Oh, and there are LDS Mini Chocolate Wrappers, LDS Chews Gum Wrappers, and LDS Chocolate Candy Bar Wrappers. Gag me.

Anyway, I am on this topic because I went visiting teaching last night and loved the girls that I taught. Yes, I know it was the last Sunday of the month, but we have been trying to make appointments for three weeks. So there. Anyway, Rose is graduating in mechanical engineering this April and Kimi just finished applying to the dietetics program. They are polar opposites. Oh and Kimi recently competed in the BYU Guitar Hero competition--which I admire her for greatly.

Okay now for the main gripe of my entry: marriage lectures. Yesterday we had stake conference, which was great. In fact, I thought it was going to be the greatest ever because when there were only twenty minutes left in the meeting, and we hadn’t gotten railed on for still being in a singles ward. Touché. We were suddenly gripping the front of the pews and straining to catch our breath as Brother Childs hit us with a surprise attack of “Here are some extremely reputable ways to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex aka your future eternal companion”. It was nuts. I was so happy to finally go to stake conference and hear normal talks. I was too happy too soon. (Apparently the night session was ONLY about getting married, but I was at my cousins’ house so I didn’t hear it). I was also frustrated because my roommate leaned to me during the talk, of course commenting on the sudden loss of our heads due to intense word-stream, and told me that her friend from the ward had called her recently with some disgusting information. It was directly after ward council and she reported that the Bishop had made such comments as, “I just feel like graduating from BYU unmarried is failing”. There were some other good (or bad) ones but I don’t want to get excessive. I am just frustrated because I feel like I need to be paranoid about receiving subliminal “get married now” messages via Monet slides in my art history classes or something. I have a lot of things that I want to do with my life right now. Mostly I want to get healthy and get a degree. I don’t like feeling pummeled by subtle and un-subtle “get married or else” hints while I am doing these things. I actually think it’s pretty inappropriate to use church meetings as a liaison for these messages all the time. Maybe once in a while—but not all the time. I’m just really…irked. You get it.

Oh and one more thing. I feel I should defend myself really quickly. I am NOT opposed to getting married. In fact, I am quite looking forward to it. Someday I plan to even have my own little Missies (I don’t really know how to pluralize that, but LOOK OUT!) Honestly though, can I just go to stake conference ONCE and not hear about how the boy sitting next to me could be…the one!?

PS - Apparently you can get Soul Saver candy in different languages. Aren't you excited!?


EBV said...

Whoa! You noticed the marriage thing, too? I thought I was the only one. Lucky for me, I taught myself to tune these things out. I call it my "Superfluous Filter." Any time someone starts preaching about non-gospel truths in Sacrament, Testimony Meeting, Gospel Doctrine, or Elder's Quorum, this handy filter takes over and allows me to day-dream away the unpleasantness.


1. The Doctrine of "Loving Your Roommates WAAAAAAY More Than is Humanly or Divinely Possible Because They Have to be the Greatest Girls/Guys to Have Inhabited This Earth, and You are SOOOO Lucky That the Cosmos Aligned in Order to Place in the Same City, Let Alone the Same Apartment!" This doctrine is often followed by weeping, wailing, gnashing, etc. One time, as a joke, Joey Orme convinced me to teach this doctrine at the very beginning of a talk in Sacrament Meeting. Expecting laughs in the congregation, I was floored when I was met with teary eyes and knowing nods.

2. Dating Advice. From people your grandparents' age. Who still refer to dating as "courting" and making out as "necking" and consider "hanging out" much worse than steady dating before 16 and only slightly better than fornication. For my entire youth, paying careful attention to these folks, I was convinced that rubbing necks together in a parked car above Promontory Point was the epitome of evil. In the end, I guess I never learned...because I'm still trying to court without necking and hanging out in excess...

3. Like, whenever, like, something like this phrase, like, makes it's way across the, you know, pulpit, ummmm...I, like, totally can't stand it, and, ya know, want to like, really puke into my, like, shoes. Really!

Anyway, bravo on this post! Have faith, young Missy. You have time. Enjoy it!

And please pass the Single Adult Savers, conveniently shaped into rings... ;D

Mike Lau said...

Missy apparently I failed BYU since I left not married. But you know what. I'm fine with that F on my report card. I hear you on that. I know the whole marriage thing is important but can we have talks that focus on the other parts of the gospel too. We need those as well. In fact I would say more. Come on!

cait said...

rah rah siss coombah! how do you spell that anyway? I'm all revved up. I don't think I would have lasted a day in ptown. I don't think I would have responded well to all that marriage talk. So, I loved that entry. Robbie and I were dying laughing, but in a very sympathetic, understanding way. You know what I mean? I also have to say that the Bishop who said that was super lame. Robbie's response was: "whatever happened to waiting for the right person?" And I second that. It's like a mad rat race. I guess some people are good with competition, I just sit back and watch the show. Well, whatever that means. Anyway, first and foremost I want to thank you for an entertaining evening, secondly, have I ever told you how I happy I am that you're blogging? Third, I cherish your friendship like a little child cherish's a warm cookie on a saturday afternoon. It's been too long since we've talked.... but I can't complain because I agreed to this once you started blogging. I'll be in ptown on friday, if you're not working, maybe I'll see you then. I'm suprised I havn't hit a limit in the length of my response...


preethi said...

So clearly now that I've discovered your blog I'm going to read the entire thing. And I'm really curious as to the "extremely reputable ways" of making oneself more attractive. Do share.