perfectionism.

Hi, I'm Missy, and I'm a perfectionist.

     Ever since I was little (and unable to sleep without a perfectly tidy room), I have known a large part of my personality involves perfectionism.  Sometimes it isn’t as apparent in certain areas (last year I never completely moved into my room and it was often messy), but this trait is always present somewhere in my life.  Whether it’s grades, relationships, appearance, my living space, or not allowing one ounce of gluten to enter my body, I always want everything to be perfect.  I am not controlling of other people but I am literally obsessed with self-control no matter the cost.

     In my religion class yesterday we had a lesson on pride.  We had to read this talk prior to class, and although I had read it before, I hadn’t paid very close attention.  In class we discussed the talk, and it was one of the better lessons I have ever been taught in my BYU career.

     My teacher also added a few sweet afterthoughts—things he think a lot of people suffer from without realizing they are rooted in pride.

• Perfectionism
  
• Self-hatred/self-deprecation

It was one of those cheesy times when I felt like my teacher was talking to me individually…

Then he shared this quote, which I love, from President Samuelson:

     “Often those who struggle the most with perfectionism are among the most talented people. Some, however, become so obsessed or consumed with their every thought, action, and response that they become far too extreme in their perceptions of what is expected of them. Those suffering from perfectionism tend to be wonderful, contributing, and effective people, and yet may feel no matter what they do, it is never enough” (“What Does It Mean to Be Perfect?” New Era, Jan. 2006, 10).

     I'm not saying I'm one of the most talented people out there, I just liked the focus on unrealistic expectations of self.  I think everyone can work on pride and all the unexpected tangents of it.  That’s all.