My Top Ten

One aspect of my personality that I don’t particularly like is the fact that I am sort of a “black or white” thinker. I don’t find very much gray area on controversial subjects, and I tend to give all or no effort in my personal endeavors. I am a perfectionist and easily obsess over trivial things. I have been thinking about that a lot lately (being enfatuation-prone), and decided that although quirky, my personal fetishes have an impressive record for being unconditionally unpremeditated and, generally, they have little to do with each other. Ever. In lieu of my recent self-admiration I thought I would treat my readers (what, three of you?) to my ten favorite fetishes of all time. These are in no particular order.

VOLLEYBALL
My high school career.

THE BABY VOICE/GENERAL IDEA OF "BB"

I have threatened endlessly to kill this terrible creature (the actual voice), but all actual efforts to do so have proven fruitless.

NES

My roommate Erica has a Wii and we have never touched it. But she mentioned the other day that we can play old school Nintendo games on it and we have suddenly resolved to calling ourselves “gamers” and stressing over getting past x, y, or z in Mario and Donkey Kong. Greatest game system of all time.

TONGANS (and Tonga in general)

I fell in love with Dallin Tupua in seventh grade and I think I had a crush on at least one Tongan boy every year after that. Does anyone remember Sioeli? If the mere mention of his name isn’t epic, I don’t know what is.

JAPANESE...STUFF

Okay, I didn’t really like Japanese stuff in general, but I was obsessed with Sanrio and Sailor Moon at separate points in my life. I just couldn’t decide which was funnier.

CARS

Acura RSX type S (candy apple red). Jeep Wrangler with a 6” lift and 36” tires. Toyota FJ40. Volkswagen Cabrio. Land Rangers. Period. I decided I was cool when Preston Langeland commented on how radical it was that I could hold my own in car conversation. Luckily for my parents my obsession with owning a fancy car has been put on hold (because I love my Toyota, Florence), but unfortunately for my husband I am still expecting a Maserati for our 25th wedding anniversary.

KEITH URBAN

This love did not happen at first sight--er, listen? Caitlin gave L34 (my sophomore apartment) a cd of all her favorite Keith Urban songs, but I refused to listen to it because it was country. Then my apartment started dating J12 and their man crush on Keith Urban somehow convinced me that he might be worth consideration. The rest is history.

Madras. Duh.





CINDERELLA

This Disney classic was said to have run on a loop throughout my entire childhood. I don’t know what was more mesmerizing…Cinderella’s pinker than pink lips or her desire to hang out with rodents all the time.

DIET COKE

This phase comes and goes. It has been here for a while so I actually decided yesterday that I’m giving it the boot.


Fetishes that nearly got posted are: Italy, Patten Frederick Johnson, jesus shoes, chocolate, Haagen Daaz Macadamia Brittle Ice Cream, natural medicine, the anatomy of the digestive system, missing art class with Liz and Cait, stomachs, Anne Applegate, and Shar Pei puppies.