Can't Hide Forever

Anyone who actually reads this blog probably knows that I have played the flute for--let's see--about 12 years now (holy cow). While I can play some higher level pieces, I rarely practiced and found anything in the world to be more important that preparing a Minuet from Suzuki Book 4. Unfortunately for me, I was pretty much the only one in the ward who played the flute (after Anne and Grace's short adventures with the instrument), so I quickly became a staple soloist (performing a few times a year), and even more than that, a staple addition to, like, every choir piece ever performed in the Monument Park 3rd Ward (I still have a hard time with calling it Foothill 7th).

Well, even after I went to college, I somehow managed to let myself get roped into performing all the time in my wards at BYU and at home. I don't really have a problem with playing, but I don't thrive off of being the center of attention like Natalie does, and I feel bad for the people that have to hear me play every other week because I NEVER practice. Anyway, in my past two wards, I have somehow managed to keep my "flute talent" under the bushel. I got asked to play once my junior year and was out of town. I made it through my entire senior (I mean fourth) year at BYU without playing once. But, unfortunately for me, this year Peter Shirts (who actually spent part of his childhood in my home ward), the music chairman, was my FHE son. He saw my flute case in my apartment, and although my roommates lied to him and told him "I just sort of played in the flute choir" (I had trained them to make it sound like I don't know an "A" from an "A flat" so I wouldn't have to perform), Peter asked me about it one day and totally caught me off-guard. He asked how long I had been playing, I said I hadn't been playing, he told me I was lying, I concurred. Then I told him that part of the issue is that I hate playing songs that are written for the violin on my flute, and there is no good church music written for the flute. Period. Lucky for me he is a Musicology Masters student, and he told me that whenever I wanted to play in church, he would write some music for me to play. I said, "okay", and never really talked to him about it again.

Then on Sunday, I got a phone call from an unknown number. While I usually don't answer, I did this time (to my dismay), and the phone call went a little something like this:

"Hello?"
"Hi Missy, this is Peter from the ward."
"Oh, hi, how's it going?"
"Good. I'm just calling to tell you that you are playing a flute solo in the fireside June 15th."
"Uh."
"You have a choice between these songs: (lists about 7)."
"....Be Still My Soul?"
"Okay great. It'll be just flute. No piano. I'll get you the music in a couple of weeks."
"Uh."
Click.

This was a very stressful conversation for me. For some reason a bunch of my friends were over, and they all thought someone had died from the look on my face. Now, I guess I really should not be so stressed about the current situation, but here are a few little problems I see with the fireside on June 15th:

1) I haven't been practicing. At all. I picked up my flute for the first time in 6 months last semester.

2) All I did last semester was play in the flute choir. With people who had "played a few years in the high school band and wanted to keep it up". I mean, there were a couple of better players (Erin Roundy and Kate Cutchins), but honestly, I was up to par with them and, like I said, I hadn't been practicing at all and honestly, truly, (still) have not played a solo for two or three years.

3) I have probably played one song in my life without piano.

4) I get quiver-lip when I play in front of people. For some reason my stage fright has gotten worse as I have gotten older.

5) I fear the sound of the piece. I don't want it to be a hymn gone bad (no offense, Peter). Sometimes that happens when people try to embellish hymns.

Anyway. I guess it serves me right to finally have to play again. My Dad would be horrified if he knew how often I have avoided the "opportunity" of playing in church. I guess I can't hide forever.

PS - I'm actually kind of excited, just don't tell anyone.

PSS - Please look at this. I'd probably play more if I could do that (even though it's kind of tacky).