4.29.2008

Ode to Poo-Flowers


Yesterday I made a very happy observation. As I was walking around outside I noticed trees bursting with pink and white blossoms. The sun was shining. Bees were buzzing. BYU campus was a beautiful sight and I couldn't help but feel that popcorn actually was popping on the apricot tree(s).

But there's a catch.
Along with the buttery, luscious blossoms that ARE apricot-slash-other-types-of-blossoms comes a terrible stench. I haven't ever been able to fully appreciate the kernel-like blossoms that grace springtime because the overall smell of the season reminds me of, well, poo.

And there's another catch.

Pollen.

Pollen, pollen, pollen.



Pollen has been my arch nemesis since before the days of poo-flowers. That means forever.

In lieu of my hatred of pollen, I decided to educate you a little bit about my bothersome, nettlesome, provoking, galling, irritating, plaguy, troublesome, annoying "friend" that is Poky Pollen (not to be confused with Corny Collins).



Grain of pollen: microscopic part produced by the anther that serves as the male agent of fertilization in flowering plants.
Thickening of cellulose: fibrous thickening.
Exine: outer layer of a pollen grain.
Intine: inner layer of a pollen grain.
Nucleoli: control centers of cellular activity.
Pore: small hole.


Please note that a grain of pollen is, "[the] microscopic part produced by the anther that serves as the male agent of fertilization in flowering plants".

The male gender is the general root of my problems.




Okay so maybe I am overreacting a little bit. The thing is that pollen, just like poo-flowers and males in general, is somewhat mystifying, intriguing, and demands a closer look. But even though these things are pretty, they are really annoying and shouldn't be touched, inhaled, or tolerated. The fact that they get under your skin and make you itch all the time is pretty hard to overlook. I just made that connection in my head. I'm glad I did.


1 comment:

Jen said...

Missy! I saw that you blog stalk me :)
boy am I ever glad you do!

I promise it's not only married people that blog. :)

Sheesh I miss you! How've ya been? By the way I COMPLETELY agree with your views on pollen, the stuff should be gathered and shipped to a far away island. Ok it should only be stripped of it's abilities to irritate people so! I also agree with the poo smell, although I always called them fish trees... I guess my poo smells like fish.

haha ok anyway, I love your guts. keep bloggin'